"Seasons"
by Bonnie Hopkins
Author Testimony
My heart is filled with praise as I consider the amazing
grace God has extended, and the wondrous way He has worked
in my life to produce my first novel, Seasons.
It's fascinating to see how My Heavenly Father began this
work in me long before I even thought or imagined it. And...
how He was faithful to complete it. Philippians
1:6.
Unlike many authors whose entire lives have been immersed
in their desire to write, I can honestly say that God had
to use adversities to birth that desire in me and to show
me that, "I can do all things through
Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13.
For many years that tormenting question (Why am I here?)
plagued my steps and sent me on fruitless endeavors to
find the elusive answer. Inevitably, I met with failure,
time after time.
Through failures and myriad troubles, (which I won't enumerate
here) God was applying Jeremiah 29:11-12 to these experiences. "For
I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, " plans
to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope
and a future.
A great source of tribulation came on the job in the form
of writing assignments. Although seldom listed among the
duties, somehow in every position I was given the responsibility
of composing diverse, arduous documents. Having no formal
training in writing, I often felt inadequate for the task,
and had to learn how to rely on God's promise that "His
grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in
my weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9.
I didn't realize that God's hand was directing these unwanted
writing assignments to me in order to develop and prepare
me to produce Seasons. But satan
did! And that enemy viciously worked to prevent any positive
seeds from taking root by using others to make disparaging
comments meant to destroy my self confidence and skill
that the Lord was seeking to develop in me. I was frequently
disheartened and perplexed by the persecution I couldn't
comprehend.
Somewhere along the journey, I discovered that I enjoyed
creating inspirational materials. Excitedly, I asked, "Lord,
could this be Your plan?" But curiously, God remained
silent, as I sought in my finite wisdom to find my own
purpose. "Nevertheless Lord, not my will but thine
be done," I thought to add. "And
He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit,
because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance
with God's will." Romans 8:27.
In 2001, I learned just how awesome He truly is. "God
is able to do immeasurably more than all I know to
ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work
within me." Ephesians 3:20. I discovered
that because of some changes in my retirement plan,
I would be eligible to retire in 2002. Joyfully, I
thanked God as I recalled that decades before, my employer
had given me the opportunity to select a retirement
plan from several options. Although it was sacrificial
and very difficult at the time, I made an irrevocable
decision to select the most expensive, but also the
most beneficial plan. I regretted that decision many,
many times as I struggled to make ends meet.
But God, who knows the future, had ordered my steps all
those years before, when I didn't know exactly why I made
such a sacrificial decision. So, as I considered the resulting
attractive options that the sacrifices had provided, I
rejoiced in the fact that He is good...all the time!
The day eventually arrived when I knew I was going to
retire. Again, God was directing my steps because in my
naïveté I believed retirement would provide
an opportunity to concentrate on creating inspirational
greeting cards! As I counted down to the day, I heard all
the reasons from others as to why I should not retire. "You're
too young; it's foolish to retire when you'll only have
to find another job; why leave when you can stay and watch
your benefits grow to the max?" However, none of it
fazed me. In spite of the negative comments, I retired
in 2002.
The next phase of my journey to Seasons was
about to begin. When God is charting the course, He knows
exactly how to orchestrate our circumstances to keep us
on His course. Several incidents occurred around that time
to distract and steal the joy of my retirement victory.
I became so overwhelmed that I decided that writing about
these experiences would be cathartic and help me place
things into the proper prospective, so I began keeping
a journal.
" Because of the Lord's great love we
are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They
are new every morning; great is His faithfulness." Lamentations
3:22-23.
Weeks after starting the journal, I was reading through
my entries and praising God for His mercies when an odd
thought entered my mind ... perhaps others who needed encouragement
would be blessed by reading this! Hallelujah! The seeds
God had been faithfully planting and nurturing had finally
been able to make their way through the embattled soil
of my mind!
The thought of writing a novel was still out of the realm
of my consideration. But because I had experience at putting
different types of documents together, (the resented writing
assignments) I thought a devotional would be the way to
eventual victory.
Right on cue, the enemy screamed negatives and fear into
my mind: "What do you have to say that will help anybody?
You need to write in your little journal and be content."
"What, then, shall we say in response
to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans
8:31. I prayed! "Lord, where are
You are leading me? If it is Your will that I write
something that will encourage and inspire others, then
please guide me. And above all Lord, help me to bring
Glory to Your Name."
I was extremely nervous when I sat down at my computer
to start working on my devotional. I didn't know what I
was doing, or where I was trying to go, but incredibly,
the words flowed and before I knew it, I had thousands
of words in the document I was still calling my 'devotional'.
Before long, I realized the document was shaping up to
be more of a story than a devotional, and finally, the
fascinating thought cautiously entered my mind that maybe...just
maybe...perhaps... it could become a book. "And
we know that in all things God works for the good of those
who love Him,, and are called according to His purpose." Romans
8:28.
But it wasn't going to be easy. Satan wouldn't have been
on his job if it had been. Right away, things veered off
course. If it was going to be a book, I had to make it
a good one, I decided. Stories needed exciting plots, interesting
and diverse characters, and sizzling love scenes. Enthusiastically,
I deviated from my path and began focusing on creating
the elements that I reasoned would make the story pop with
excitement, forgetting all about the encouragement factor.
I quickly discovered with disappointment that this plan
was failing. The story just refused to flow anymore.
With another apparent failure before me, I was jolted
back to reality. Obviously, writing a book was beyond my
capability. After all, nothing in my experiences had prepared
me for such a mammoth task. In discouragement, I returned
to the devotional idea.
" Do not be afraid or discouraged because
of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but
God's." 2 Chronicles 20:15
Remarkably, (Devine intervention?) a light bulb exploded
in my mind, and I realized that it was when I detoured
and tried to turn the story in the direction that I, in
my human understanding, thought it should go that I had
hit a brick wall.
" Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on you own understanding; in all your
ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs
3:5-6
When my hands fell to the keyboard again, I asked the
Lord to use me to tell a story that would not only be encouraging
and inspirational, but would also draw others closer to
Himself.
Immediately 'Seasons' began
to fall into place. I wondered where the scenes and characters
came from because I really didn't know what I was doing!
Amazingly, I had reached eighty thousand words before I
knew it, and the characters and their plights continued
to play out scenes in my mind. I actually began to worry
about how I would finish the story that just kept coming.
It was time for satan to show himself again. As others
learned what I was doing, I received strong reactions from
some of them who felt that I should be devoting my time
to more practical and spiritually appropriate Kingdom building
work, instead of trying to write a fictional book. The
possibility that they were right filled me with doubt,
uncertainty, and guilt.
In an effort to alleviate the guilt, I put the story aside
and started a consuming round of 'acceptable' Kingdom service.
I stayed so busy I started wishing for my old job where
there would have been a chance to rest every now and then.
It was interesting to see which ministry would be the first
to call each morning.
" Let us not become weary in doing good,
for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we
do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity,
let us do good to all people, especially to those who
belong to the family of believers." Galatians
6:9-10.
But I knew by the discontent in my soul that I was out
of God's will. The Holy Spirit brought to my remembrance,
the burning desire that had prompted me onto the writing
path: to say a word of encouragement to others. My volunteer
'service' reached few and did little to deliver that encouragement.
It dawned on me that God has to use a diversity of methods
to deliver His message to the many who seldom, if ever,
entered a church.
In the meantime, the story had been haunting me. Plots,
scenes and characters from Seasons constantly
invaded my thoughts and finally compelled me to return
to the computer, where remarkably, the story continued
to unfold, and amazingly, ideas for spin-offs, and other
stories began germinating in my mind.
Then one day, I was almost shocked to realize that Seasons was
complete. I went back through it, tweaking, refining, and
looking for ways to more effectively demonstrate God's
redeeming message through the story that though fictional,
addressed very real and eternal issues.
Satan delivered another hit at that point. Fear induced
procrastination was suddenly alive and well.
" For God did not give us a spirit of
fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of self discipline." 2
Timothy 1:7.
Fear waged a battle as I considered the next obvious step,
and satan whispered that no publisher would accept the
work of a novice who didn't know the rudiments of the craft.
I admit it was extremely difficult to garner the courage
to submit it, but I finally did it.
Weeks later, when I received a call from Denise Stinson
and heard the words, "We want to publish your book," it
was most assuredly shouting time! God is Awesome! Mighty!
Gracious! Merciful! and Worthy to be praised!
The fact that Seasons is now
a book and will be in bookstores everywhere is a testimony
of how God is constantly with us and for us. Remember how
He strategically directed unwanted writing responsibilities
to me? How I originally started out keeping a journal as
a way to ease my troubled mind? How He arranged an early
retirement at just the right time? How miraculously, the
journal evolved into a story (which ended up as Seasons)?
And incredibly, how the unexpected call came from Walk
Worthy Press stating they wanted to publish it?!
God, in His awesome wisdom planned and directed my life
along a path that was designed to prepare the way for Seasons to
come forth. Now, ya'll know, that is something to still
be shouting about! I am ever rejoicing, and believing that Seasons is
going to be a blessing to multitudes! To God Be The Glory!
Stay tuned! While Seasons characters
take a well-deserved rest, (they'll be back!) they opened
the way for those in the next book who are anxious to tell
their story!
Blessings!
Bonnie Hopkins
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